The Break In

I wrote this post a few months ago after our house was broken into (it was a very full summer!) so here are some insights into what we learned and experienced:

Back in June our house was broken into and quite a few things were stolen.  Yep, it happened.  It happened here in Compton, and it happens everywhere. 

It was pretty shocking when I came home and realized what had occurred (and that Lokey had been inside the whole time… guard dog what?!) and we were pretty shaken up for a few days.  The police were called and took a report.  I asked a few neighbors if they had seen anything, no one did.  Our pastor came over immediately and helped board up the broken window.  Two neighbors came over for a while and talked with us.  They shared things we could do to keep the house safer, and also gave us their opinions of who could have done it.

A few days later as I was walking Lokey around the block, one of these same neighbors stopped to talk for a bit.  He asked if we had heard anything from the police.  I told him that we hadn’t, and that we probably never would and that was OK.  His response to me, “No, it’s not OK, because I live here too.”

His response hit me for a moment.  That statement was one of our own reasons for moving to the city.  We intentionally decided to move in to this neighborhood knowing the problems and difficulties, so that instead of standing on the outside looking in, we would be able to say “No this is not OK, because we live here too” and have a vested interest in what occurs in this community.  Now this neighbor was sharing this same sentiment with me—black man to white woman, older to younger, generations and cultures apart.  And I was thankful.  Thankful that this neighbor cared enough to make my problems his too. Sometimes God shows up before us, making a way, creating community that we have not worked for or deserve. Grace.

There were many other ways that God seemed to be preparing us for this occurrence.  Chris and I had previously spoken of needing a new laptop and guitar, both of which were stolen, and due to insurance we can replace them (bonus to a break in is having insurance).  Two days before the break in I had been sitting in the room where they broke the window and felt an urge to pray for the safety of the house and particularly that room.  I thank God that he had prepared my heart.  Three days before the break in, Chris randomly decided to put a lock on a word document that contained all of his passwords.  Grace.

While God did not stop the break in from occurring, he prepared us for it and even blessed us in the midst of it, in multiple ways. And isn’t that the same story all through the Bible?  Grace in suffering, joy in sorrow, hope in trials.  This journey of following Jesus is not promised to be easy, in fact quite the opposite is promised. But God is with us, blessing us along the way.

One of my favorite quotes sums it up… “Hope is not resurrection in isolation from the cross; it is resurrection made necessary and possible by the cross. Hope is not a utopian future unrelated to the vagaries of the past and the ambiguities of the present; it is a future in which God redeems history, establishes justice, and brings peace. Hope is not a wholeness unacquainted with brokenness; it is brokenness made whole by grace. Authentic hope is always paradoxical: embodied by the risen, but eternally scarred, Jesus.”   -Guy Sayles

Summertime

Anyone else have Will Smith's "Summa, summa, summa-time" stuck in their head? I do. Summer time is definitely on it's way, and for some reason there is something about summer that tends to kick things up a bit here in the city.  We experienced similar things last year, and we are beginning to notice that apart from the normal excitement of vacations, beach days, and barbecues, there is something else that seems to brew in the city during summertime.  There is a type of anticipation, as if along with the rising heat comes rising activity.  The weather is hot, people are outside more often, some folks may have less to do. Summertime.  I struggle to put what this type of anticipation feels like into words.  I have a mental picture in my head of a little kid wanting to leave the house after a long winter, because finally they can get outside to play.  Although what we seem to experience isn't always play.  Summertime seems to mark a rise in violence across the city, and there have already been numerous instances in just one week.


While looking for apartments or houses, those of us who moved into the city have made jokes about where our location is in relation to a potential drive-by.  We have laughed over this at times, thinking about how funny it is that we now consider what would be the safest room, what our emergency plan is - it is funny but serious.  And after a week like this one it becomes less funny.  The reality of where we live sets in again, and while we have already seen such growth, change, and hope occur, darkness is still deeply imbedded.  Light still needs to break through in many ways, and we are reminded of why we are here.


Sometimes the challenge for us is simple, yet hard to carry out.  Choose not to fear.  Choose to take walks even when in my mind I have doubts and fears.  Choose to love.  Choose to love those who I would otherwise walk away from or even avoid.  Choose to trust.  Choose to trust that God is greater, and has each moment of my life in his hands, from beginning till the end.  Easier said than done. But this is the challenge for me, to choose these things on a daily basis, to truly put God at the center of my heart and mind, and to choose Him above all else. So as we are vacationing, and beach-daying, and barbecuing in whatever city you may be in this summer, let us strive every day to make the choice to choose Him.

Grateful

Wow... so much has been happening over the last few months! I again apologize for a lack of updates, but hopefully this blog will show a bit of where our minds have been lately.


I find my heart bursting with gratefulness these days at all the exciting things that have been happening.  Let me share a few.


1. THE HOUSE! We have been in the house for almost two months now, and while it has been a ton of work (and will continue to be for many years to come) we absolutely love being here.  It has been amazing to both of us how quickly this house has felt like home.  It is such a joy to have our own space, and it's some of the little things (or HUGE if you haven't had them in a while) like laundry machines, a backyard, and plants to water, that seem to make us happiest :)


2.  A DOG!  Chris and I knew that we wanted a dog but were not sure when it would actually happen.  Well a few weeks ago Chris and I got the opportunity to adopt an amazing 5 month old puppy named Lokey (I know, apparently the most recent evil character in the Avengers movie).  We seriously feel like Lokey is our child.  She brings us so much fun and laughter-- it is wonderful.  This little love bug loves to cuddle and give kisses like none other, and we gladly receive them.  Lokey is also great at meeting new neighbors! Leave it to dogs and children to bridge the gap, but so far because of Lokey's presence I have met multiple new kids on the block.  Take a look at this little cutie...

3.  GRADUATION!  My days in grad school are finally coming to a close, and I could not be more thrilled.  My time in grad school has been a tremendous experience.  I have learned so much, grown in many ways, and made some fantastic relationships with classmates and professors.  It has been a great gift and I value this education so much.  I am also grateful for the vision that God is beginning to stir in my heart for what might be around the corner and where he wants to place me next.  Pray with me as God leads my steps in this.  Chris also continues to be rockin' away at his MBA.  He is a serious stud and has been working so hard at being one of the top in his class.  He is a year away from graduating and is dreaming about what kind of business opportunities he wants to pursue in the future.

It has definitely been a time of transition as we adjust to new norms, a new street, and new work/school opportunities.  I am excited about summer coming up so that I can work on a few house projects, spend some more time out on the street getting to know neighbors, and becoming more involved in things that I have not been able to before, like reading for pleasure, blogging, and just plain having fun. It's going to be a busy summer, but stay tuned for more updates and stories about life in the CPT.

Moving!

As some of you may know, Chris and I have bought a house!  This really makes me feel like a grown up (and has me freaking out on the inside) but we are really excited about what God is doing. This has been and will be a big change for us, and a few weeks ago I needed to process some of what I was feeling and wrote the following.  I thought I would share it to give you all a glimpse of what God has been doing in our lives regarding this house...

Sometime early last year the Lord laid it on my heart that he was going to deliver a house to us.  This brought about great excitement and I began eagerly visiting and spying on every available house in our surrounding neighborhoods. We looked at houses, put an offer in, got rejected, and became disappointed.  I came to a point of saying, “OK, Lord if this is you then you will need to do this.”  At one point I was praying about this whole house business when I received a few words from the Lord.  One of them was “green” and the other was “next year.”  I found these curious but had come to a point where I was no longer interested in trying to figure out what God was doing, so I said OK and moved on.  

We continued to look at the house list emails we received regularly but nothing ever seemed to stand out or strike us much.  Then one day a 3 bedroom 2 bath house appeared on the market.  It’s exterior color?  Solid green.  It was in our price range (and on a street we had liked), so we decided to look.  It was not exactly what we anticipated, but it was small and spacious.  It was August and we decided to place an offer, even though the timing to move during the school year would be less than ideal, and left it at that.  Weeks and months passed.  We got word that there was another offer ahead of ours and that it was not looking good.  Chris was trying to prepare me to not be disappointed, but I flatly told him that I thought we would get it because of what the Lord had told me.  Chris just shrugged his shoulders.  A few more weeks passed when Chris received a call from our realtor.  The first offer was not responding, and if they didn’t by 5:00 that day, our offer would be sent in.  Chris laughed over the phone, knowing how I would respond to this news, “I told you so…”  Being that this is a short sale, weeks continued to pass with every now and then more paperwork demanded of us.  Thanksgiving came, then Christmas.  It is now just after the new year, 2012, and I imagine that very soon we will be approved for the solid green house on Pearl St., just in God’s perfect timing.  

The thought of moving from our beloved Kay Street apartments has given me so many mixed emotions.  As corny as this sounds, I feel a little bit like Frodo being asked to leave the Shire.  Though far from the Shire, this apartment complex has been our safety and refuge for the past two years.  We have developed beautiful relationships with a wonderful community that I do not want to leave.  When I think of how far these relationships have grown-- from unknowing glances to hugs, from silence to laughter, from mistrust to trust, I am beyond grateful at how much I have learned and been loved living here.  I think about our beloved Vlad and Flor, a couple who have truly become our brother and sister, whom we have been able to share apartments, vacuums, food, and dishes with, whom we have laughed and talked to throughout many evenings, whom we have been challenged and loved by, and I am so sad to leave the precious closeness that this little complex has offered.  And yet I trust my Jesus that He is calling me out, calling me to a new territory.  A new street where there will be unknowing glances, silence, and mistrust until the peace and presence of Jesus breaks through.  Here in Compton we know that a house is more than a house- it is ministry, community, family, koinonia.  It is our mission; and we trust that God goes before us as He guides us to this new place. 

Diversity

We are so blessed to live in a diverse community.  I am constantly learning about different cultural norms and values from my interactions with people here.  I love this about Compton- there is so much culture and history in this city.  But one of the struggles of diversity is the language barrier.  When we first moved in we realized that all of the families in our complex are Spanish speakers except for one- and in that one English speaking family both the parents are deaf.  Needless to say, Chris and I have been challenged to stretch our communication comfort levels to new territories.  Sometimes this looks like communicating with our hands as best we can to a deaf mom, sometimes it looks like utilizing my not-so-great Spanish skills to attempt to show my neighbor that I truly am interested in their life- even if I sound ridiculous.  And what I have learned is that no matter how much I botch a sentence or say the wrong word, my neighbors are thrilled when I try (and they usually say I'm not as bad as I think) and they show me grace as I stumble through.  We become equals as we both try to understand and communicate with one another.  I've learned that sometimes showing love looks like looking stupid, but it's all for a greater cause: the reconciliation of people across lines of race, socio-economic status, and language.

Joy

One of my favorite things about living in our apartment complex are all the kids we have around!! When we first moved in to this complex, we knew that God wanted us to love on the kids that would become our neighbors. Initially we would get shy glances, maybe a stare, and if we were lucky a hello.  Over time the kids started to warm up a bit. We would help them get a toy stuck out of the tree (Chris's height has helped us in this), bake some cookies together, or play a game.  


A few months ago we started a missional community gathering in our complex, led by our upstairs neighbors.  This is basically a family gathering where we come together to eat and learn about what it means to be a disciple.  Everyone is invited to this.  Well, once the kids found out, there was no stopping them.


Every Wednesday the apartment is full of almost all the kids from our complex.  At first they weren't sure what we were doing when we held hands and prayed.  They watched us greet each other with hugs, and they watched us be family together.  Now whenever we come home we are greeted by hugs, the kids are praying with us, and they even feel like we are family.  They share their struggles with us, and we get to love them and demonstrate what it looks like to love God and love others.  Even their families have started to come around to see what our times together are all about. These kids are an amazing joy, and I am so excited to see what God has in store for them! 

Rest!!

Such a beloved word I get excited just thinking about it...


Chris and I had the wonderful opportunity to get away and rest this weekend in Palm Springs. We Priceline'd our hotel (a great resource for those on a budget, Dave Ramsey anyone?), had to fight for a king size bed, refused to accept extra resort fees, and survived the heat. But more importantly-- we were refreshed.


We have been in Compton for a year and a half now, and there are certain things we have adjusted to like: noise almost constantly-- car alarms, parents and kids yelling, cars driving by, dogs barking, did I say car alarms?-- prostitution occurring on our door step, and plenty of police activity to name a few.  But it wasn't until we got away from those things that we realized how they impact us on a daily basis.  There were far fewer cars on our vacation, one police car we noticed, and we even visited the mountains where we looked out over nature in absolute silence.  What a gift.  My soul was invigorated as I witnessed God's beauty and his hand in nature.


Coming home I began to realize how things like traffic and noise wear me down every day. My thoughts went to my neighbors and friends that I have grown close to in our time here in the city.  Many of them do not have the ability to take a vacation.  Many are working hard just to survive and do not have the resources to get away.  They, too, are a gift.  My soul is invigorated as I witness their dedication, their courage, and their strength on a daily basis.


It's good to get away for times of refreshment.  It's even better to recognize the refreshment God brings to me every day at home.

Truth

I have definitely been going through a good bout of burnout.  I am tired.  Living here is hard.  There are times when I just want to go for a walk and not feel like an outsider.  I want to be able to lay on grass and not be thinking about who's around me.  I want to have moments of quietness.  I want to see nature instead of concrete.  


I have been wrestling with God lately about what it means to cast my cares upon him, to carry his burden that is easy and light.  I don't do this well.  The burden seems heavy and harder than I can take.  I get angry, mad, frustrated. And then I realize, it's because I'm trying to hold it all myself.  I like to fix things.  I like to think I can handle whatever comes my way, that I can take it, that I can control it. 


But then the truth comes knocking quietly at my heart.  He never rushes in, never yells or shouts.  He just waits until I am ready to hear him.  Through the voice of a friend who says "You are strong." Or through a verse that says, "Cast your cares on him" and "Do not grow weary of doing good." Or the Spirit who says, "Give it to me. I am with you."  He always waits until I am ready to hear.  My prayer is that I will be more quick to listen.  

Work Day Time!!!

It's time for a Compton Initiative Workday!!! If you guys are interested in being a part of the movement in Compton, consider volunteering 5 hours of your Saturday morning to get dirty, have fun, and bless a community in the process.  The next workday is July 30th starting at 7am at Compton High School.  You can sign up to volunteer here.  Bring friends, family, or just yourself.  If you come let us know! We would love to see you and show you around the city! 

Sometimes

This is graffiti I wouldn't mind seeing more of...

Sometimes things seem dark when you realize the brokenness that abounds.  But then Jesus sends little reminders like this that He is present. Working and bringing peace.  And sometimes we even get to see it.

Why Compton?

After beginning this blog I have been asked by a few different people, "Why are you living there?" I am always slightly hesitant and uneasy about giving an answer, because it is somewhat convoluted in my head. There are so many reasons why I have chosen to live in Compton, but I shall do my best to summarize a few of them here.


Firstly, I have chosen to live my life following the way of Jesus Christ. This means that every aspect of my life I am regularly surrendering to Him (or at least striving to, I will always be a work in progress). This includes where we live, where we work, what we buy, what we say. My husband and I had known for a while that we wanted to live in a diverse place. We did not want to follow the upward bound path of settling in a nice upper class White neighborhood. We believe that WE are in desperate need of diversity. Both racially and socio-economically. We need to be around people that think differently than us, look differently than us, and have different life experiences than us. We as a community are made whole when we embrace our differences and challenge ourselves to grow. We had this desire as we were getting close to being married, but did not know where this would lead.


We were attending a church at the time that was focused on supporting and building up the city of Compton. We were approached by a friend, our now pastor, to consider moving in to the city. We ended up meeting regularly with a group of people who were praying about moving in. Needless to say, we were beyond excited with the vision, the mission, and this community. We knew that God was up to something. We were scared. I was terrified. But we were also falling in love with the city of Compton and what God was starting for us there.


We spent time driving through the city, going on walks up and down streets looking for apartments and getting a feel for the community.  We were often stared at and felt very uncomfortable.  For the first six months after we were married we lived in the city of Paramount.  After our new church got started, City Church of Compton, we decided it was time to move in. We were ready. Our doubts were gone, but we were still apprehensive. Yet God opened up a perfect apartment for us to move into, one block away from where our church was and our pastor lived.


So we moved in February of 2010.  Our first night at our apartment, we received a phone call from our pastor around 10:00 pm.  I told Chris, "Answer it, what if something's wrong?" We were already on edge living in a new place in a foreign community.  Our pastor was simply calling to give us a prayer and blessing for our first night in our new home. We both sighed with relief. I didn't sleep much that first night. But as time has gone by, this apartment complex has become our home. We feel safe. We feel connected to our neighbors. And we feel we are in the hands of God. We know that this is where He wants us, and we wouldn't choose anything else.

Doing good... one dog at a time.

There are some incredible things happening in the city of Compton!  One of those things is called the Compton Initiative.  This organization gathers thousands of volunteers four times a year from all over Southern California.  These volunteers come into the city and from the city to paint houses, schools, and churches as well as pull weeds, paint fences, and a myriad of other dirty duties.

One week ago we had the privilege to partner with this organization as they painted the house directly next to our apartment complex.  It was so much fun!  This family was overjoyed with the work being done, and we had so much fun watching our own apartment neighbors come outside with big smiles about the transformation they witnessed.  One little boy even came to our screen door later that day... "Chris?"  "Yes?"  "When are you gonna do that stuff again?"  "What stuff?"  "Like painting the house, my mom wants to know."  "Why, does she want to come?"  "No, she wants me to go and paint next time."  "Oh OK!"  Doing good is contagious and people want to join!


Let me share one of my favorite highlights of the day.  One of our neighbors next door is a guy named Chamaco.  Now Chamaco is a huge 110 pound St. Bernard.  We know Chamaco well because his bark resounds through our bedroom window regularly.  But we love Chamaco, he is nothing but a big guy with a sweet heart.  One way that my husband and a few of his friends decided they wanted to do good was to give Chamaco a bath.  This truly is a good work, as Chamaco is huge and very difficult to get clean.  So the guys asked the owner before walking Chamaco around the block to our friend's house, where there is ample room to wash this beast. Here are some images that captured the moment...

 This is Chamaco in his usual state, with his little friend...

How many guys does it take to wash Chamaco?

Three apparently, and one for emotional support :)

Also, these last pictures are from my friend Tonya who has another amazing blog to check out,  Other Side of Compton.

This is an awesome way for anyone to get involved with transforming the city of Compton. You can come alone, with your family, with your friends, or with your church or organization. If you are interested in volunteering for the next clean-up day, it is coming July 30th and you can sign up here.  Let us know if you can make it!

Restaurant Alert - Hawkin's House of Burgers

One of my favorite characteristics of the city of Compton is a strong spirit of entrepreneurship.  There are so many wonderful small businesses owned by individuals and families, each of which add a unique spark to the city.  Start-up businesses take a lot of guts and innovation, and I take my hat off to the people that work hard to keep them open and flourishing.


One of the things that we want to do on this blog is highlight some of the small businesses in Compton (and surrounding areas), sharing with you what makes them unique and why we like them.


The first business we would like to share with you is..... Hawkin's House of Burgers!


Located in Watts, this restaurant is truly a hole in the wall-- but what a gem on the inside! Old man Hawkins offers some of the biggest burgers I have ever seen.  If you are looking for a random weekend activity, take a trip to Hawkin's.  Not only are the portions huge, but the price is right.  In true "ghetto burger" fashion your $4.50 will afford you a pound and a half of artery clogging, fried-egg topped, bacon slathered, greasy (heavenly) goodness.  This burger is not for the weak of heart, or stomach.  For the health conscious individual you can easily split a burger and make two or three meals out of it.  To entertain you while you wait you may engage the local t-shirt vender, pan handler or out of town yelper.


The trip is worth it for more than just a good burger, it truly is a cultural experience and a great place to take in the people, sites, and sounds of South Los Angeles.  You can find their address and more reviews here.


Check out some of these gnarly burgers.

This burger will put some hair on your chest...for reals.

This was the junior size burger... more than enough. 

Chris and Ben, enjoying manhood in a burger (disregard the fork)

Willingness

Last weekend we woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a lady screaming at the top of her lungs outside our apartment.  I jumped out of bed, looked out the window and saw some kind of dark movement in a car across the street.  Figuring someone was being raped, Jaime and I immediately called the police.  The operator reported there were already several calls and told me to stay inside.  A few minutes later we could hear sirens and a young lady suddenly got out of the car.  Another larger lady got out and started chasing her toward our apartment.  We recognized them both as a couple whose family lives in one of the apartments units in our complex.  Last time we interacted with them they were in a huge fight throwing each other's clothing out into the street.  As they ran in the courtyard and into their family's unit it became clear they put their fight on hold to elude the police who had just turned the corner.  The police ended up in their apartment for several minutes but in the end nothing happened.


Looking back it really did not take long for the police to get there (for which I'm grateful), but it felt like an eternity.  Try to imagine several minutes of listening to a woman screaming and pleading for them to stop doing whatever their doing to her.  In that moment there's an intense feeling of helplessness.  Should you try to go help her?  How many people are out there?  What if there's a gun?  It's paralyzing.


Feeling traumatized, we sat on our couch awake for the next two hours planning all the new safeguards we'd need to put in place.  We realized then that there is something profound in us merely being here.  We could have just as easily been another severely broken family in the complex.  We're far from perfect but we do strive to be a light where we live, to love the children and the neighbors and the apartment manager.  I think that by us living in the city, by taking on some of the neighborhood trauma, we become much more effective as agents of the gospel.  We have a vested interest.  We don't want to be terrified as we walk into our home if we come back after dark.  And we don't want the neighbor kids to have to grow up hearing and seeing violent things and thinking they are just normal parts of life.


We have to believe that God is capable of healing our neighborhood.  We believe that it starts with being a good neighbor who's willing to step into community.  Sometimes it means being willing to struggle through a conversation in Spanish.  Sometimes it means being willing to help sweep up the courtyard.  Sometimes it means being willing to call the police.


A quick word concerning domestic violence from Jaime:


Each year women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes. Men are the victims of about 2.9 million intimate partner related physical assaults. In 2005, 1,510 deaths were related to intimate partner violence.


No one deserves this kind of abuse. If you know someone who is experiencing this, below is a hotline resource.  If you need shelters or other resources, leave a comment below.


LA County Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-978-3600

moved into the neighborhood...

Over one year ago, my husband and I decided to move into the city of Compton. Along with an amazing group of people dedicated to seeking and serving Jesus in this city, we took our newly-wedded selves and moved into a barred up apartment on Kay Street. This past year has been full of surprises, learning moments, and lots of joy. We moved in to find graffiti on our walls, waking up to fights in the middle of the night, and confronting strangers who were mysteriously trying to enter our car. We moved in to learn how to be a minority. We moved in to learn how to build relationships despite barriers of culture and language. We     moved in to discover some beautiful community all around us. 

[Koinonia] is the Greek word for community. It is about sharing, creating intimacy, and becoming interlinked with those around us. Throughout our year of living here, we have discovered some amazing things about the city we live in. We have also learned a lot about the struggles and triumphs in the process of becoming good neighbors. This blog exists to share those things-- the things that we see and that things that we learn as we continue to discover and create community, [Koinonia]Compton.